4th trimester (newborn phase)

• An Infant Carrier: The Baby K'taan has helped tremendously in allowing me to keep up with the twins, cook dinner, wash dishes, and keep my infant close to me whenever we are out of the house. You'd be surprised how a newborn can make complete strangers forget all about personal space/boundaries. The carrier allows me to move freely while keeping my baby close. It also allows her to adjust to OUR daily routine. She is also able to smell me, nurse, and hear my heartbeat. She almost NEVER cries. I know some old school parents may say holding a baby all day spoils the baby. That is completely false. You can not spoil a newborn. My baby is adjusting to a new world and she needs my help. For 9 months she's smelled me, been nourished by me, heard all the sounds my body makes...she only knows ME. I am her guide to this strange new world and I just have to be patient. She will catch on eventually. Infant carrying also helps with postpartum anxiety and depression. A crying/screaming baby completely overwhelms me. Baby-wearing helps baby and me feel secure.

• Journaling helps me to categorize and sort through my thoughts. I'm able to problem solve quicker. It's also easier for me to notice patterns in my behavior, so I can adjust. It's calming. It allows my mind to stop racing. 

• Breastfeeding. Any amount of breast milk I can give to my baby is so worth it. It's economical, it's healthy, it's always sanitary, and I can sleep while nursing in the middle of the night. Since I can do it, I do it. If it proves to be too much for me I'll stop. A fed baby is most important.

• Recovery: I made sure to sleep during the 6-8 week recovery period. I napped every time my husband was able to supervise the Super Twins. I relaxed my standards on chores and it made for an easier transition to being a mom of 3. I really soaked up those early moments. Since I breastfed on cue, Ryian napped more during the day and spent a lot of the evening and overnight nursing. It's imperative not to sleep through any of the nighttime feedings because that's when milk supply increases. Growth spurts and cluster feedings are real and the only way to keep up with the demand is to nurse on demand.

• Light walking: Just like during pregnancy, light exercise is beneficial. It serves as a mood stabilizer and it's a decent form of exercise.The great thing about walking is I was able to begin this almost immediately. 

• Coconut oil can be used to prevent stretch marks and as a natural alternative to traditional lanolin nipple cream. Coconut oil has antibacterial properties, so it's really good at healing those cracked nipples in the first few weeks.

• Bedtime/Nighttime routine: During the newborn phase I don't force a schedule, however, just doing the same things every night before bedtime helped Ryian learn the difference between day time and night time. A lavender scented warm bath, a light massage with coconut oil, fresh diaper, warm pajamas, a nursing session and low lights works like a charm.

• Loose neck tops are the best for nursing. I layer a nursing tank under a loose neck top so I can nurse without having to keep up with a nursing cover. 

• If you're new to breastfeeding or if you're bottle-feeding after a cesarean a breastfeeding pillow works great. I used the pillow for a short time until I got my bearings with different positions. It's also really good to keep the baby off the sensitive scar area. 

• Prenatal vitamins don't stop after baby is born. The vitamins help me to keep some energy. When I forget to take them I can tell the difference. I'm sluggish, Ryian doesn't get full, and I don't have as many letdowns as I should. The same is true for water and rest. When I don't get enough of those two things I am a sight for sore eyes.

In the comments let me know some of your essentials for that critical 4th trimester.

Introducing Little Miss Ryian Paris...

The night before you were born I started having contractions...I didn't think too much about it because even though I'd lost my mucous plug a few days prior I've never experienced labor symptoms. I didn't get much sleep that night. The morning of your birth Rosie woke up at the butt crack of dawn and demanded to watch little Einstein's. I obliged. I cut it on and continued to agonize. She paid me no mind lol. I continued to have contractions. They continued to get stronger and regular. I took a shower hoping the hot water would soothe me, but the contractions, of course got even more painful. I called your Granny. She knew I was different. She came running. Your Daddy on the other hand...he's so stinking cool about everything. Nothing can make him change the pace of his walk or the calm in his voice. He took his sweet old time driving home from work.

We headed to the hospital. I didn't progress but labor was imminent. I ended up having  you via repeat cesarean. I was awake for your birth...that was the only request I made. I didn't get to hear your sisters and that has stuck with me everyday of their lives.

I was so nervous to get the spinal, but your Daddy calmed me down with just the sound of his voice singing the lyrics to Stevie Wonder's "As" in my ear. "As now can't reveal the mystery of tomorrow, but in passing we'll grow older everyday. Just as all that's born is new, do know all I say is true, that I'll be loving you always." You'll come to learn that this is my song for your father. When they told me they were going to use general anesthesia when I gave birth to your sisters I had my nurse go to your father and tell him "Until the day that you are me and I am you." I tell him that whenever I'm overwhelmed or scared or just when I'm overcome with the wave of love. I love HARD and that's how I promise to love you.

They lifted you up over the sheet so I could see you, but I'd taken my contacts out before we'd gone inside. I'm blind as a bat without those things. When am I going to learn? Ever the jokester, I asked your Daddy, "Is she an uggmug?" To which he replied, "Absolutely not. She's gorgeous."

I had a postpartum hemorrhage. I blacked out. My blood pressure dropped into the 40s. You brought all the excitement Little One, but I wouldn't change a thing about the day. You are amazing! You are so loved! We can't wait to watch you grow up!

The Pits...Natural Alternatives to Conventional Deodorant

I started looking for natural alternatives to the conventional deodorants and antiperspirants because I knew I was going to be exclusively breastfeeding my little one and I felt a little weird about putting known carcinogens (aluminum, parabens, and triclosan) so close to her. In the western world, we've been conditioned to think of sweat as an enemy; as something unhygienic, but that couldn't be further from the truth. These known carcinogens are the ingredients in deodorant that stop us from perspiring. I know, I know sweat is yucky, but that's only because in the Western World we've been conditioned to think of sweat that way. In actuality, sweat is our body's natural coolant and toxin removal system. There are some toxins in the body that can only leave the body through sweat. Now let's think about that. There are thousands of known toxins in our bodies every single day and by using antiperspirants we are keeping those nasty toxins INSIDE OUR BODIES! THAT'S what's gross! I noticed that when I would shower I would scrub and scrub and scrub, but I couldn't get the old deodorant from under my arms. That's problematic in itself, so the hunt for an aluminum-free deodorant began.

 Tom's of Maine deodorant in the wild lavender scent was the first deodorant I tried out. I started this process in the summer months in the United States' South. That proved to be a complete bust! I sweat tremendously and I stunk so bad. I knew I could get used to the amount of sweat (hey, it's normal), but I couldn't deal with that stench. I figured if so many people were able to rave about this deodorant it must be something I'm doing wrong.  This led me to Google for a way to exfoliate my armpits. I ended up finding a detox recipe from www.wellnessmama.com using Aztec clay and apple cider vinegar.  The science behind this is that if you've been using an aluminum-filled deodorant for any amount of time, you've clogged your pores with this "metal." You need to first detox your armpits and then try the natural deodorant. This clay somehow pulls the metals from your body. You can actually feel the tightening as you use this mask. It's really cool.

Armpit Detox Recipe

2 Tablespoons of Aztec Indian Healing Clay

2 Tablespoons Bragg's Organic Apple Cider Vinegar

Enough water to form a paste

No metal utensils or bowls

Apply paste to underarms and relax for 5-20 minutes maximum.

Ok, so I detoxed my armpits every night for a month and then revisited the Tom's deodorant. Nope, still a bust. I almost gave up and just started using the conventional deodorant again, but when I would nurse my baby I just couldn't bring myself to do her like that. 

I went to my local Whole Foods Market and grabbed the Nubian Heritage Honey and Black Seed 24 Hour All Natural Deodorant. I really wanted this product to work because I spent almost $9 on it and because it's a black-owned company and that's really important to me. Alas, this product failed me as well. It smells amazing and maybe for the person who doesn't have sensitive skin this product might work great, but it burned like all hell. I haven't been able to pinpoint which ingredient caused me the discomfort, but I ditched this product. It also had this weird sticky feeling upon application. So uncomfortable!

Just kind of fiddling around in the body care aisle at Whole Foods I stumbled across this Magnesium Oil Spray. If you've read my blog for any amount of time you've heard me rave about the benefits of magnesium sulfate (aka Epsom salt) as a mood stabilizer. If you can't poop take an epsom salt bath. If you're sore take an epsom salt bath. If you're moody on your period take an epsom salt bath. I think you get my point. If you're ailing more than likely you just need to increase the magnesium in your body. Most of us are suffering from a magnesium deficiency and we don't even know it. But anywho, back on subject. I was reading the label and it mentioned how you could use it as a deodorant. How cool is that? I went home, showered and squirted in under my pits all willy nilly and it stung like fire. But that's completely normal! The first few times you use it you will sting, but that's only if you have a magnesium deficiency. After a few uses you won't sting anymore, but if the stinging bothers you too much just rub it in and then apply some coconut oil. You know how if you go to the beach and get in the ocean when you leave you'll feel this gritty feeling on your skin? That's exactly how your pits will feel, but thats ok. You're killing two birds with one stone. You're increasing your magnesium intake which will get rid of headaches, body aches, and insomnia while moisture-wicking! I've only been using it for about a week, but I'll never go back to a different deodorant ever.

If any of these products worked for you tell me in the comments. I don't have all the answers. I'm still learning just like you. Let's grow together :)

Mommy Hack...or My Take on Meal Prepping

I'm one of those people who can go the whole day without eating because I'm so preoccupied by the needs and demands of my girls and man are they demanding! Being able to keep up with the Super Twins is quite the feat and it requires some intentional preparation. 

I'm a night owl. I dredge through life the entire day, but once I put the girls to bed I come alive! lol. It's so weird. After enduring a terrible day filled with a ton of tantrums I decided I should take advantage of this kid-free time slot. Cooking overnight is working for me. I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before. When the girls were babies I used to pre-measure their formula, boil the water for their bottles, add the cereal (I'm from the South. We poke them nipple holes, give 'em cereal and they sleep through the night lol. I didn't say it was healthy, but it works!) and the baby food the night before. It just saves time and cuts down on the fussiness. Now that they're busy toddlers not too much has changed. I still try to measure out their hot cereal, prep the fruits and snacks, bottle up the water, juice and milk that they'll consume for the whole day, and make the timeless peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch. If I don't do this, I'm playing catchup all day long. I'm sure if I was a better cook this wouldn't be a problem, but I'm not so boo!

I also prep my own food. Otherwise I'll never eat.

 Jerk chicken marinating 

 Can't go wrong with a sandwich

Sweet Potato and Black Bean Chili

Eggplant Parmigiana

Salmon, Black Rice, Broccoli

Daddy, Mommy and The Super Twins Explore Bluebird Gap Farm

The Super Twins were treated to a bunch of activities before we gave birth to our 3rd child. We wanted them to have a full spring and summer before we knew we'd pretty much be indoors for the first few postpartum months. First up, Bluebird Gap Farm. It's located in Hampton Roads and is free year round.

Bluebird Gap Farm has a huge playground, a garden and arboretum, of course it has the farm animals, a nature trail and a picnic area. There's literally something for everyone of all ages to enjoy. 

We have a black cat named Samaria Suhad that the girls have had all their lives. For some reason, Rosie has decided to fuss at her every chance she gets. I always wanted my kids to grow up with a pet so they could have a love and respect for life around them and this new "mean-girl" attitude towards the family cat is disheartening. I thought this would be a great opportunity to expose her to some of the animals she's heard about in nursery rhymes and hopefully to teach her a lesson of compassion. 

Look at the smile on Rose's face. She's in heaven whenever her Daddy is home!

What's In My Hospital Bag

My Hospital Bag Checklist

• License, insurance card, pre-registration forms
• a folder for all the papers the hospital will give you
• comfortable outfit to wear home (bring something you were able to fit when you were 6 months pregnant)
• lip balm
• shower shoes
• phone and charger
• toiletries (toothbrush, toothpaste, shower gel, lotion, coconut oil, deodorant)
• going home outfit for baby
• car seat already installed
• contact lens case and solution
• face wash

I wore everything the hospital provided...i.e. gowns, underwear, and pads. Delivery and postpartum care is messy! Why waste your good panties?

I did, however, bring my own toiletries. The hospital provides soap and things, but I like to smell like myself. Shea Moisture Coconut and Hibiscus Body Wash and Lotion to perk me up for the morning and my Bath and Body Works Aromatherapy Sleep Lavender and Vanilla Body Wash and Lotion for bedtime.

My hospital provides onesies, diapers, wipes, and pacifiers. I didn't have to bring anything for my baby. And what's great is you can take everything you didn't use home with you.

We purposely did not announce the birth this time so we could bond with our child. It was so important to me that I have this bonding experience all to myself, well, and my husband. I didn't get that when the Super Twins were born and it definitely contributed to my postpartum depression. Because we didn't have visitors, I didn't need to pack a bra or nursing cover. If you can handle tons of visitors then invite them all! There's no rule, but my advice would be to get your rest. Take advantage of the nurses and lactation consultants. Get all the help you can! Take the pain meds if you need them, eat really big meals, and relax because when you get home the work truly begins.

MY Third Trimester Essentials

• Bath and Body Works Aromatherapy Sleep Lavender and Vanilla Body Wash and Bubble Bath 

Pregnancy insomnia is no joke! I don't know why it happens. I'm completely exhausted. I mean, it's a struggle just to make my eyes blink, but no matter how hard I try I just can't shut my brain off. Lately, I've been taking advantage of a consistent bedtime routine. Having one really helps me to calm down and unwind. Even if that means I'll only sleep in 2 hour spurts. Something is better than nothing, ok? Anywho, I picked this soap and lotion duo up from Bath and Body Works and I am in love. The lavender vanilla scent isn't overbearing and the soap is cleansing without drying out my already parched and stretched skin. I can feel the stress of the day just melt off me when I suds up and inhale this stuff. Afterwards, I rub on my epsom salt lotion and follow it up with the matching lavender vanilla body cream from this Bath and Body Works line. I'm out like a light within minutes.

• Compression Socks 

I actually bought a pair of compression socks when I was pregnant with The Super Twins and still working as a Nursing Care Partner. Compression Socks are great for keeping your blood circulating properly and preventing or minimizing swelling. They worked great for those long hours in the hospital and they still stand up to the demands of the busy and boisterous Super Twins. I can lift, walk, run and stand for however long the girls demand and I don't have to worry about swelling. I still take advantage of the foot rubs from my Hubby though. If he's offering, I'm accepting.

• Trident Mint Gum 

So good to keep down on gas and upset stomach. I get this really yucky taste in my mouth. I wouldn't say its nausea, but it definitely puts me down. I don't know if it was just a mental thing, but the mint taste either gets rid of the yuckiness or the chewing distracts me enough to get through the day. Either way, totally essential!

• Vicks' Vaporub. 

Pregnancy hormones cause mucous membranes to swell, so it's very common to experience congestion. Rub some vaporub on your chest and inhale. If you're a daredevil rub the ointment right under your nose. I know the directions say not to do this, but I do it anyway. I find that the menthol is great for relieving headaches. What can I say? Toddler tantrums and pregnancy hormones don't always mix and I don't want to keep popping pain relievers.

• Nature trails or a track! 

Do I really need to explain this one? I love a long scenic walk. It relaxes me and I just get lost in my thoughts. Such a great stress-reliever. I've also read that walking is a great low-impact exercise that actually prepares you for the long drawn out task of labor. I have never experienced labor (C-section mama), so I can't give a first-hand testament to this, but it can't hurt.

• Daily Check-ins with Bae

I make sure to constantly take note of how I'm feeling. While it is normal to experience some emotional fluctuations during pregnancy, I KNOW what isn't normal for ME. You should do the same for yourself. If you're constantly crying, feeling isolated, hopeless, overwhelmed, or angry PLEASE mention this to your doctor. He or she can help you get the help you need. Luckily for me, I have a built-in sounding board in my Hubby. I am constantly yapping his head off with what I'm feeling or thinking. He helps me to process what I'm feeling and it helps to make sure I'm not blowing up at him out of built-up frustration. If you don't have this kind of spousal support a friend, parent, or even a journal can suffice.

So, let's wrap this up!

While these were MY 3rd Trimester essentials they most certainly don't have to be a must for you. I love commiserating with my fellow pregnant mamas, so in the comment section below please share some of YOUR essentials. We're in the homestretch now!!!!

MY Second Trimester Essentials

Absolutely nothing beats the ease of the Second Trimester, commonly referred to as the "honeymoon period", and for very good reason. Your awkward baby bloat has finally turned into a really cute baby bump, the morning sickness hopefully has made its exit, and if you're interested, you could even learn the sex of your baby! For all of its perks, the second trimester isn't without its drawbacks: think itchy skin from all the growing, difficulty finding comfortable positions, and the ever prominent "mommy brain." Growing a baby is taxing. Here's a few things that helped me get through weeks 13-27.

With the beautiful baby bump comes the worst dry skin itch ever! My skin was absolutely parched. So I have to confess, when I'm pregnant I am the biggest wimp. I complain like nobody's business....NO ONE and I mean no one cares lol. My family has decided that with each pregnancy they will ignore my incessant whining with utmost zeal.

Once I realized no one was listening, I decided to go ahead and heal myself. I remembered I'd purchased Shea Moisture's Raw Shea Butter Chamomile and Argan Oil Baby Eczema Therapy and Oyin Handmade's Whipped Pudding Moisture Cream when I was desperately seeking a solution to Rose's winter eczema. They didn't work for her, but I figured it wouldn't hurt me to try it out on myself. Amazing! The smells of each of these products is nice and subtle, so they didn't upset my stomach or give me a headache. And the richness was just what my skin needed in order to calm down the dryness.

Sugar Scrubs are also good at moisturizing the skin. You can either purchase one or make some at home. Either way your skin will thank you. 

I got rid of most of my maternity clothes after I had the Super Twins, but I found a hand-me-down Bella Band in one of my storage containers (Thanks Shelly!) If you're short on funds or you're just not willing to commit to purchasing an entire maternity wardrobe that you're probably only gonna use once, then the Bella Band is something you may want to consider. Its just a piece of fabric that I pull over my pants to keep them from falling down while allowing me to wear my pants unbuttoned. I was able to continue wearing my normal pants for a few extra months.

I enjoyed this trimester. I had so much energy this time (completely different from my twin pregnancy). Did you have any special essentials during your second trimester? Share with me in the comments I'd love to know.

The Terrible Two's

As I type this post the Super Twins are in the middle of their 10th tantrum today.

The terrible twos are that horrible period where the beautiful little people that you fell in love with over the 9 months of pregnancy and nurtured throughout the first year and a half of their lives become the gremlins that you can't stand to be around. Its that horrible phase where they have the capability to tell you that they want a certain doll and they want to watch a specific show and they want to only eat one dish for every meal, BUT they can't explain to you that they're tired or frustrated or angry or sad. So because they have no grasp over their emotional responses to environmental stimuli they just scream at the top of their lungs all day long. 

In the middle of a fit where Addi is asking me for what I assumed was water I oblige what is actually a very simple request, but here's the catch...its not the right cup. In fact, none of the cups I'm offering her are the right cup. Apparently I missed todays PSA where I was supposed to learn the "Cup of the Day." She's screaming, shes jumping, she's crying so hard. Screams for water then turn into screams for "Nannas." I don't have anymore bananas. Total chaos ensues. 

Every day I feel like I'm flailing. Time out doesn't work. Nap time is all shot to hell. And I can't always get them to eat. Nevermind that I've made what I thought was a fool-proof kid-friendly meal. In this moment, I am not enough. I wish I had a solution to the terrible two's. I wish the advice that well-meaning strangers give when my girls have completely lost their shit in the middle of the grocery store. It doesn't matter that I've fed them, gave them a nap, packed toys for the trip...NOTHING WORKS.

I wish I could say that in this moment I didn't blame myself. That I didn't question whether I'm a good mom. But that's not the case. I am not enough. I hate this phase. And its nowhere to being over.

Practice What You Preach

I absolutely HATE liver! I remember my mom making this a few times when I was a kid. I feel like at some point I actually used to enjoy this cut of beef, BUT she let me touch it while it was raw and I never touched it again lol. She won't let me live that down btw, but I digress. Here's how I did it. I cut the liver into teeny little pieces and mixed it up real good with the rice and gravy. Then I ate big spoonfuls until all the meat was gone! Here's WHY I did it. I often tell the kids they have to open their mouths and eat. They're at that age where picky eating is common. Their tastebuds are still developing...if I let them they would only eat pancakes for every meal of the day. They're also at the age where they want to do whatever I'm doing. If I tell them to do something and then I don't do the same, what am I really teaching them? I am their first teacher. I have to be the example and I take that responsibility very seriously. Liver womps! But I bought it, it's cooked, and I'm not gonna waste it. Here's to being a leader!

Yet ANOTHER Slave Narrative...And Why You Should Watch It

2 years ago when I watched "12 years a slave" I declared I would never watch another slave narrative. Of all the stories that could be told about my predecessors I was tired of hearing the same ones. I'm tired of hearing about slaves, Frederick Douglass, MLK, butlers and maids, and all the subservient positions my ancestors held in this country. Why is the media so hellbent on reminding "us" of the torture my people endured? The history, language, customs, and religions that were lost. Just constantly banging it over our heads as if we don't already feel that everyday when we wonder just who we are. The duality of being an American and a descendant of west African slaves referenced as a color and never a nationality. It's painful.

There's a feeling of shame. Shame that someone could convince a fully grown person that they were nothing more than chattel. Shame that there weren't nearly as many rebellions as I thought there should be. And anger that every time a community of blacks went off and created their own communities and successful businesses it was always sabotaged by jealous whites of the time. It's baffling.

Then WGN premiered the show "Underground". I love John Legend. And I heard he was an executive producer for the show. I read that this show was different from the other slave narratives. These slaves would be bold. I decided I'd watch one episode and that's it.

This show is about the escape of 7 slaves and their dangerous quest to freedom. On one of the first episodes I watched Rosalee stop to pick flowers as the hunting dogs were hot on her trail. I thought to myself 'what is wrong with this house slave? Doesn't she realize no one has time for her insolence?' Only to find out that she was picking a poisonous flower and leaving a trail in order to kill the hunting dogs.

In that moment I realized I didn't always watch slave narratives with the right eye. I didn't see Rosa Lee as a person capable of being inventive. And that's a shame. Why had I never seen them as people?

I continued to watch the rest of the season on the edge of my seat just waiting for the characters to show us just how they survived. Just how creative they were. How courageous. How scared. How very human they were.

When I saw previews for this new "Roots" I said "again y'all?" But I gave it a chance. For no other reason than that I'd never seen the original.

I loved how they showed Kunta's rites of passage. His love and respect for his parents. The importance of being a man, a husband, and a father. The importance of honoring his name and his ancestors. And even, the God he reverenced which if you weren't aware...as depicted in this updated Roots was the Abrahamic God. Don't let the "Allahu Akbar!" Fool you. He is indeed the God you serve. The prayers that Omoro Kinte prayed are all very familiar to me. That resonated with me. So many times have I seen the question posed "who did Africans worship before European influence?" and I get angry every time. Angry because I know that the faith I have was NEVER created or even inspired by Europeans and angry that people of my own race don't know that.

While Kunta is shackled aboard the ship that would transport him to America he soils himself. He hollers out to an uncle, also aboard the ship, that he is ashamed, to which the uncle replies, "the Shame is not yours Kunta. The shame is not yours to bear."

In America, Kunta is repeatedly referred to as a nigger. He never shrieks or shrinks. He repeatedly replies "No nigger. I am Mandinka." It's funny how we've decided to adopt this ugly word and attempt to make it beautiful. A term of endearment. How? You can't make something inherently evil into something beautiful. I don't care how you argue it.

In this long-winded rant my point is this...watch it, don't watch it, but don't be afraid of the history of chattel slavery in this country. It's not shameful to us, the descendants, and it doesn't reinforce racism. It is the truth of what this country was founded on. You have to teach your children because the history books are trying to erase it.

If all you want to teach your children is that they come from Kings and Queens you are doing them and your ancestors a disservice. You are attempting to silence the voice of a portion of your people. Don't do that. Someone else has already silenced them long enough.

I Must Confess...

When I was a first-time mom I totally felt guilty about blowing off chores, engagements, having company over, etc. even though I was dog tired. Now that I am in my second pregnancy I am not ashamed to admit that my house has fallen to the wayside lol. If it doesn't absolutely have to get done; it hasn't gotten done. That means while I have washed and dried all of our laundry it is literally just staring at me. I have developed a laundry monster and ya know what? I am completely ok with that. I have prepared the girl's room to accommodate the new addition. Ok I must confess I have reverted back to using the crib for the girls. Judge me. I feel it. I don't care though because sometimes I just need a nap and when I get up from my nap I do not want to have to pick up all the clothes they've decided to pull out of the drawers, I don't want to have to keep fussing at them about leaving the curtains alone, and sometimes I just need them to be trapped but safe. I know that in the crib they can't touch anything they aren't supposed to touch and I know that they can nap if the feel the urge.  I'm just not gonna beat myself up about it. I'm tired. And fortunately for me I've been blessed with the opportunity to nurture my body. This is just a phase guys. Sooner than later I'm going to be back running around town with my beauties.

Letters, Numbers, and Sounds

My husband and I have dubbed Rosie, "Mouth Almighty" (don't worry we don't say it to her face we mostly just text it amongst ourselves lol). 

I've decided to take advantage of the parrot-like phase of her development by getting her to count every stair as we walk down them, asking her to name the colors of the jack rocks we play with, and encouraging her to repeat after me when I name shapes.  I've had to really pay attention to the things I and others say around her because she repeats the embarrassing phrases at the MOST inopportune times. Its funny how that works. Can't pay her to say, "Mommy I have to use the potty", but pick any choice phrase and she says it clear as day in front of her grandparents. Oh joy. 

Addi is our singer and noise-maker. She has this thing about singing at the top of her lungs. The only problem is she only sings one note and that one note is dreadful lol. She also really loves dogs, so I'm working with her on recognizing animal sounds. So far so good. She has dog barks and cat meows down pat. Hopefully she'll naturally find another note to sing...one can dream.

I don't expect either of them to really know what they're doing or saying but I at least want to encourage them. 

I bought these number signs and shapes from one of our local parent-teacher shops. So far, we've mostly just been using household items. I can't wait to show them our new goodies :)

MY First Trimester Essentials

For me, the first trimester is always the hardest. The extreme fatigue, the unending nausea, and the flux of hormones can really make whats supposed to feel like a beautiful blessing seem more like a nightmare. This isn't my first pregnancy, so I know what to expect and how to adapt. A few tweaks in diet and a gentle approach to rest can do wonders. Cue the essentials...

I like the Rainbow Light Prenatal One Food-Based Multivitamin, because its easy on my stomach. I've tried 2-pill prenatals. I've tried traditional store brand prenatal horse pills. I like this brand the best. They are so gentle on my stomach and they don't leave a weird aftertaste when you burp lol. Maybe that's just a me thing.

Simple Truth Natural Almonds are awesome. Really, it doesn't matter the brand these are just what's available at my grocery store of choice. I use these as a natural remedy for migraines. The magnesium helps tremendously. One or 2 handfuls can knock a migraine out if you eat them at early onset. The medicine I traditionally take for my migraines isn't safe during pregnancy or breastfeeding, but this is a great alternative and its cheaper. 

Diclegis is a medicine that my OB prescribed for morning sickness. These are a lifesaver! Not only do they help with easing the nausea, they also help with sleep issues. And you don't have to take them everyday which is a plus. 

Let's talk about those crazy first trimester mood swings. I have battled depression for the last 15 years. Before I got married and had kids I was able to mask my suffering very well from everyone else except my Mom. What can I say? She knows me like a book.

Now that I'm married, I've had to learn new ways to manage this illness. Some of the ways I manage are through the use of supplements (Vitamins D3 and B12), tons of sun exposure, green smoothies, journaling, and lots of self-care on the weekends. Admittedly, while this may not work for everyone this is what I've decided I'm comfortable with.

Take responsibility for your mental health. If you are suffering get the help you need and if you require medicine please don't feel like you are weak. I come from a very strong Christian background and I'm pretty sure folks mean well when they tell you, "Don't claim that. You just need to trust God and pray." What many don't understand is that Depression is a real ILLNESS. It is a chemical imbalance. It can be measured! It's not just feeling sad about a specific situation. Its the feeling of hopelessness and despair that can make the smallest of tasks seem like a monstrous feat. It can manifest itself in the form of extreme physical pain to the body, the inability to concentrate, the inability to just get out of bed, the inability to fall asleep no matter how exhausted you may be. And what makes it even worse is that if someone were to ask you what you're sad about you'd have absolutely no answer. While I believe wholeheartedly in the power of prayer we would be best in encouraging our loved ones with depression to not only pray, but to seek professional medical attention. Just thought I'd throw that out there. Let it bless you real good! lol

What are some of your first trimester essentials? Let me know in the comment section below!

Slow Down Mommy...Babies Don't Keep

There will always be something that requires my attention...whether its dishes, vacuuming, or just getting dinner on the table. Sometimes I have to be reminded that those tasks will always be there, but my girls won't be babies forever. Inevitably, they will grow up and won't want to sit in my lap quietly. A kiss on the cheek from mommy won't always magically fix everything.

In the midst of the mess, I will sit down and catch yet another episode of Caillou...that little boy is a mess, but I digress lol. Sit down, hold your baby, breathe them in. They won't always be little.

Baby Prep and A Vent Session

I've learned so much from other mom blogs and youtube vloggers. I've learned that the burst of energy you get during the second trimester is the perfect time to get everything squared away for the impending birth. We've gone ahead and stacked the girls bunk beds and assembled the crib. I've cleaned out the girls closets and paired down their playroom significantly. I am so excited about having these things done so early. While I still have quite a few more things to do within the next few weeks I have created a game plan and I am confident that we will execute this to perfection. The car seat is already installed and the breast pump is already sanitized. The girls haven't really caught on that someone is coming or rather Rose doesn't seem to notice any differences, but my ever aware Addi has reached the pinnacle of her clingiest self. She hugs my belly, she refuses to allow her father to hold her hand or pick her up which leaves it to mommy lol. I wish I could say I'm irritated by it, but I'm more than flattered. So what's up next:

• Pair down on the girls clothes and separate all the smaller items into a bin and store at the top of the closet until we know the sex of the baby. We don't intend on finding out the sex so we'll have this bin until June. At least these items will already be sorted, laundered, and folded so if they're going to be used by us they're already ready and if they need to be donated they again are already ready.

• Clear out a cabinet and sanitize a few bottles and pacifiers. We intend to breastfeed again, but at least we'll be prepared just in case.

• Begin purchasing and storing diapers.

• Begin purchasing, laundering, and storing gender neutral onesies and outfits.

• Pull the baby glider and bassinet out of storage. Clean them and set them up.

• Begin scheduling and seeing the pediatrician for the girls, the dentist, the optometrist, and the general practitioner for me and King. And go ahead and let the pediatrician know about the upcoming baby and scheduling an appointment with the lactation consultant at our ped's office. 

Quick Dinners: Navy Bean Soup

Navy Bean Soup

We pretty much have been living off soup since I've been pregnant. I'm not the best cook, but I'm constantly hungry and in need of the best nutrients. This baby's appetite is insatiable!!!!! So, this may actually look like a big pot of nothing, but its navy bean soup. I usually use ham, but we're trying to get away from pork, so I used smoked turkey wings. This turned out so well and it only took about 2 hours to cook. Super quick. Just cut, dump it, and add a bit of hot sauce at the end. Amazeballs! You could even convert this to a slow cooker recipe if that better suits your schedule. Just set the temp to low and cook for about 10 hours. Like Rosie always says, "Yummy! Yummy!"

Ingredients

1/2 lb of smoked turkey wings

1 teaspoon of dried rosemary

1 teaspoon of dried thyme

8 medium carrots skinned and sliced

3 stalks of chopped celery

1 lb of dried navy beans soaked and rinsed
1 large white onion, chopped

8 cups of chicken broth
3 cloves of garlic, minced
optional: hot sauce and sugar to taste

Directions

1. Soak and rinse dry navy beans in water overnight.
2. Add navy beans and the rest of the ingredients to your stockpot.
3. Cover and cook on low for about 2 hours. Stirring occasionally.

I like to add about a teaspoon of sugar and a few heavy-handed shakes of Texas Pete hot sauce to my bowl, but feel free to skip it if that's not your thing. This is how my Great-Granddaddy Cliff liked to make his.

Daddy, Mommy and The Super Twins visit the Virginia Sports Hall of Fame

I am absolutely NOT a sports fan. I completely understand the basics of football, basketball, baseball, and tennis, but they are all snooze fests for me. No matter how much I try to make myself care, if only for the sake of my husband, I just can't do it. I'm slowly embracing this small fact about myself, however I LOOOOOOVVVEEE my King. Like really love him. Its disgusting actually, so sometimes I set aside my personal disinterest because I realize that if I really want to see my "reserved man of few words" light up I have to get him into his element.

Every year the Smithsonian Magazine hosts a Free Museum Day all over the country. All you have to do is print tickets off their website. So one Saturday morning I planned an adventure with him in mind. Enter the Virginia Sports Hall of Fame. Cue the wide smile from my beautiful husband lol.

Daddy told his girls all about Monica Wright, Arthur Ashe, Tiki Barber, and Robert Griffin III. He told them about some of the well-known sports announcers and he rallied off stats like he was a contestant on Jeopardy. 

The girls got into some of the interactive exhibits, but for the most part they didn't quite appreciate Daddy's love for athleticism.

And you know what? That's ok. In time they will. This will be something they share with their Father. They will mention to future boyfriends, "If you want my Daddy to let you take me out you better know something about the Redskins because that's his team." 

They will learn the heart of their Father.