What's In My Hospital Bag

My Hospital Bag Checklist

• License, insurance card, pre-registration forms
• a folder for all the papers the hospital will give you
• comfortable outfit to wear home (bring something you were able to fit when you were 6 months pregnant)
• lip balm
• shower shoes
• phone and charger
• toiletries (toothbrush, toothpaste, shower gel, lotion, coconut oil, deodorant)
• going home outfit for baby
• car seat already installed
• contact lens case and solution
• face wash

I wore everything the hospital provided...i.e. gowns, underwear, and pads. Delivery and postpartum care is messy! Why waste your good panties?

I did, however, bring my own toiletries. The hospital provides soap and things, but I like to smell like myself. Shea Moisture Coconut and Hibiscus Body Wash and Lotion to perk me up for the morning and my Bath and Body Works Aromatherapy Sleep Lavender and Vanilla Body Wash and Lotion for bedtime.

My hospital provides onesies, diapers, wipes, and pacifiers. I didn't have to bring anything for my baby. And what's great is you can take everything you didn't use home with you.

We purposely did not announce the birth this time so we could bond with our child. It was so important to me that I have this bonding experience all to myself, well, and my husband. I didn't get that when the Super Twins were born and it definitely contributed to my postpartum depression. Because we didn't have visitors, I didn't need to pack a bra or nursing cover. If you can handle tons of visitors then invite them all! There's no rule, but my advice would be to get your rest. Take advantage of the nurses and lactation consultants. Get all the help you can! Take the pain meds if you need them, eat really big meals, and relax because when you get home the work truly begins.

MY Third Trimester Essentials

• Bath and Body Works Aromatherapy Sleep Lavender and Vanilla Body Wash and Bubble Bath 

Pregnancy insomnia is no joke! I don't know why it happens. I'm completely exhausted. I mean, it's a struggle just to make my eyes blink, but no matter how hard I try I just can't shut my brain off. Lately, I've been taking advantage of a consistent bedtime routine. Having one really helps me to calm down and unwind. Even if that means I'll only sleep in 2 hour spurts. Something is better than nothing, ok? Anywho, I picked this soap and lotion duo up from Bath and Body Works and I am in love. The lavender vanilla scent isn't overbearing and the soap is cleansing without drying out my already parched and stretched skin. I can feel the stress of the day just melt off me when I suds up and inhale this stuff. Afterwards, I rub on my epsom salt lotion and follow it up with the matching lavender vanilla body cream from this Bath and Body Works line. I'm out like a light within minutes.

• Compression Socks 

I actually bought a pair of compression socks when I was pregnant with The Super Twins and still working as a Nursing Care Partner. Compression Socks are great for keeping your blood circulating properly and preventing or minimizing swelling. They worked great for those long hours in the hospital and they still stand up to the demands of the busy and boisterous Super Twins. I can lift, walk, run and stand for however long the girls demand and I don't have to worry about swelling. I still take advantage of the foot rubs from my Hubby though. If he's offering, I'm accepting.

• Trident Mint Gum 

So good to keep down on gas and upset stomach. I get this really yucky taste in my mouth. I wouldn't say its nausea, but it definitely puts me down. I don't know if it was just a mental thing, but the mint taste either gets rid of the yuckiness or the chewing distracts me enough to get through the day. Either way, totally essential!

• Vicks' Vaporub. 

Pregnancy hormones cause mucous membranes to swell, so it's very common to experience congestion. Rub some vaporub on your chest and inhale. If you're a daredevil rub the ointment right under your nose. I know the directions say not to do this, but I do it anyway. I find that the menthol is great for relieving headaches. What can I say? Toddler tantrums and pregnancy hormones don't always mix and I don't want to keep popping pain relievers.

• Nature trails or a track! 

Do I really need to explain this one? I love a long scenic walk. It relaxes me and I just get lost in my thoughts. Such a great stress-reliever. I've also read that walking is a great low-impact exercise that actually prepares you for the long drawn out task of labor. I have never experienced labor (C-section mama), so I can't give a first-hand testament to this, but it can't hurt.

• Daily Check-ins with Bae

I make sure to constantly take note of how I'm feeling. While it is normal to experience some emotional fluctuations during pregnancy, I KNOW what isn't normal for ME. You should do the same for yourself. If you're constantly crying, feeling isolated, hopeless, overwhelmed, or angry PLEASE mention this to your doctor. He or she can help you get the help you need. Luckily for me, I have a built-in sounding board in my Hubby. I am constantly yapping his head off with what I'm feeling or thinking. He helps me to process what I'm feeling and it helps to make sure I'm not blowing up at him out of built-up frustration. If you don't have this kind of spousal support a friend, parent, or even a journal can suffice.

So, let's wrap this up!

While these were MY 3rd Trimester essentials they most certainly don't have to be a must for you. I love commiserating with my fellow pregnant mamas, so in the comment section below please share some of YOUR essentials. We're in the homestretch now!!!!

MY Second Trimester Essentials

Absolutely nothing beats the ease of the Second Trimester, commonly referred to as the "honeymoon period", and for very good reason. Your awkward baby bloat has finally turned into a really cute baby bump, the morning sickness hopefully has made its exit, and if you're interested, you could even learn the sex of your baby! For all of its perks, the second trimester isn't without its drawbacks: think itchy skin from all the growing, difficulty finding comfortable positions, and the ever prominent "mommy brain." Growing a baby is taxing. Here's a few things that helped me get through weeks 13-27.

With the beautiful baby bump comes the worst dry skin itch ever! My skin was absolutely parched. So I have to confess, when I'm pregnant I am the biggest wimp. I complain like nobody's business....NO ONE and I mean no one cares lol. My family has decided that with each pregnancy they will ignore my incessant whining with utmost zeal.

Once I realized no one was listening, I decided to go ahead and heal myself. I remembered I'd purchased Shea Moisture's Raw Shea Butter Chamomile and Argan Oil Baby Eczema Therapy and Oyin Handmade's Whipped Pudding Moisture Cream when I was desperately seeking a solution to Rose's winter eczema. They didn't work for her, but I figured it wouldn't hurt me to try it out on myself. Amazing! The smells of each of these products is nice and subtle, so they didn't upset my stomach or give me a headache. And the richness was just what my skin needed in order to calm down the dryness.

Sugar Scrubs are also good at moisturizing the skin. You can either purchase one or make some at home. Either way your skin will thank you. 

I got rid of most of my maternity clothes after I had the Super Twins, but I found a hand-me-down Bella Band in one of my storage containers (Thanks Shelly!) If you're short on funds or you're just not willing to commit to purchasing an entire maternity wardrobe that you're probably only gonna use once, then the Bella Band is something you may want to consider. Its just a piece of fabric that I pull over my pants to keep them from falling down while allowing me to wear my pants unbuttoned. I was able to continue wearing my normal pants for a few extra months.

I enjoyed this trimester. I had so much energy this time (completely different from my twin pregnancy). Did you have any special essentials during your second trimester? Share with me in the comments I'd love to know.

The Terrible Two's

As I type this post the Super Twins are in the middle of their 10th tantrum today.

The terrible twos are that horrible period where the beautiful little people that you fell in love with over the 9 months of pregnancy and nurtured throughout the first year and a half of their lives become the gremlins that you can't stand to be around. Its that horrible phase where they have the capability to tell you that they want a certain doll and they want to watch a specific show and they want to only eat one dish for every meal, BUT they can't explain to you that they're tired or frustrated or angry or sad. So because they have no grasp over their emotional responses to environmental stimuli they just scream at the top of their lungs all day long. 

In the middle of a fit where Addi is asking me for what I assumed was water I oblige what is actually a very simple request, but here's the catch...its not the right cup. In fact, none of the cups I'm offering her are the right cup. Apparently I missed todays PSA where I was supposed to learn the "Cup of the Day." She's screaming, shes jumping, she's crying so hard. Screams for water then turn into screams for "Nannas." I don't have anymore bananas. Total chaos ensues. 

Every day I feel like I'm flailing. Time out doesn't work. Nap time is all shot to hell. And I can't always get them to eat. Nevermind that I've made what I thought was a fool-proof kid-friendly meal. In this moment, I am not enough. I wish I had a solution to the terrible two's. I wish the advice that well-meaning strangers give when my girls have completely lost their shit in the middle of the grocery store. It doesn't matter that I've fed them, gave them a nap, packed toys for the trip...NOTHING WORKS.

I wish I could say that in this moment I didn't blame myself. That I didn't question whether I'm a good mom. But that's not the case. I am not enough. I hate this phase. And its nowhere to being over.

Practice What You Preach

I absolutely HATE liver! I remember my mom making this a few times when I was a kid. I feel like at some point I actually used to enjoy this cut of beef, BUT she let me touch it while it was raw and I never touched it again lol. She won't let me live that down btw, but I digress. Here's how I did it. I cut the liver into teeny little pieces and mixed it up real good with the rice and gravy. Then I ate big spoonfuls until all the meat was gone! Here's WHY I did it. I often tell the kids they have to open their mouths and eat. They're at that age where picky eating is common. Their tastebuds are still developing...if I let them they would only eat pancakes for every meal of the day. They're also at the age where they want to do whatever I'm doing. If I tell them to do something and then I don't do the same, what am I really teaching them? I am their first teacher. I have to be the example and I take that responsibility very seriously. Liver womps! But I bought it, it's cooked, and I'm not gonna waste it. Here's to being a leader!

Yet ANOTHER Slave Narrative...And Why You Should Watch It

2 years ago when I watched "12 years a slave" I declared I would never watch another slave narrative. Of all the stories that could be told about my predecessors I was tired of hearing the same ones. I'm tired of hearing about slaves, Frederick Douglass, MLK, butlers and maids, and all the subservient positions my ancestors held in this country. Why is the media so hellbent on reminding "us" of the torture my people endured? The history, language, customs, and religions that were lost. Just constantly banging it over our heads as if we don't already feel that everyday when we wonder just who we are. The duality of being an American and a descendant of west African slaves referenced as a color and never a nationality. It's painful.

There's a feeling of shame. Shame that someone could convince a fully grown person that they were nothing more than chattel. Shame that there weren't nearly as many rebellions as I thought there should be. And anger that every time a community of blacks went off and created their own communities and successful businesses it was always sabotaged by jealous whites of the time. It's baffling.

Then WGN premiered the show "Underground". I love John Legend. And I heard he was an executive producer for the show. I read that this show was different from the other slave narratives. These slaves would be bold. I decided I'd watch one episode and that's it.

This show is about the escape of 7 slaves and their dangerous quest to freedom. On one of the first episodes I watched Rosalee stop to pick flowers as the hunting dogs were hot on her trail. I thought to myself 'what is wrong with this house slave? Doesn't she realize no one has time for her insolence?' Only to find out that she was picking a poisonous flower and leaving a trail in order to kill the hunting dogs.

In that moment I realized I didn't always watch slave narratives with the right eye. I didn't see Rosa Lee as a person capable of being inventive. And that's a shame. Why had I never seen them as people?

I continued to watch the rest of the season on the edge of my seat just waiting for the characters to show us just how they survived. Just how creative they were. How courageous. How scared. How very human they were.

When I saw previews for this new "Roots" I said "again y'all?" But I gave it a chance. For no other reason than that I'd never seen the original.

I loved how they showed Kunta's rites of passage. His love and respect for his parents. The importance of being a man, a husband, and a father. The importance of honoring his name and his ancestors. And even, the God he reverenced which if you weren't aware...as depicted in this updated Roots was the Abrahamic God. Don't let the "Allahu Akbar!" Fool you. He is indeed the God you serve. The prayers that Omoro Kinte prayed are all very familiar to me. That resonated with me. So many times have I seen the question posed "who did Africans worship before European influence?" and I get angry every time. Angry because I know that the faith I have was NEVER created or even inspired by Europeans and angry that people of my own race don't know that.

While Kunta is shackled aboard the ship that would transport him to America he soils himself. He hollers out to an uncle, also aboard the ship, that he is ashamed, to which the uncle replies, "the Shame is not yours Kunta. The shame is not yours to bear."

In America, Kunta is repeatedly referred to as a nigger. He never shrieks or shrinks. He repeatedly replies "No nigger. I am Mandinka." It's funny how we've decided to adopt this ugly word and attempt to make it beautiful. A term of endearment. How? You can't make something inherently evil into something beautiful. I don't care how you argue it.

In this long-winded rant my point is this...watch it, don't watch it, but don't be afraid of the history of chattel slavery in this country. It's not shameful to us, the descendants, and it doesn't reinforce racism. It is the truth of what this country was founded on. You have to teach your children because the history books are trying to erase it.

If all you want to teach your children is that they come from Kings and Queens you are doing them and your ancestors a disservice. You are attempting to silence the voice of a portion of your people. Don't do that. Someone else has already silenced them long enough.

I Must Confess...

When I was a first-time mom I totally felt guilty about blowing off chores, engagements, having company over, etc. even though I was dog tired. Now that I am in my second pregnancy I am not ashamed to admit that my house has fallen to the wayside lol. If it doesn't absolutely have to get done; it hasn't gotten done. That means while I have washed and dried all of our laundry it is literally just staring at me. I have developed a laundry monster and ya know what? I am completely ok with that. I have prepared the girl's room to accommodate the new addition. Ok I must confess I have reverted back to using the crib for the girls. Judge me. I feel it. I don't care though because sometimes I just need a nap and when I get up from my nap I do not want to have to pick up all the clothes they've decided to pull out of the drawers, I don't want to have to keep fussing at them about leaving the curtains alone, and sometimes I just need them to be trapped but safe. I know that in the crib they can't touch anything they aren't supposed to touch and I know that they can nap if the feel the urge.  I'm just not gonna beat myself up about it. I'm tired. And fortunately for me I've been blessed with the opportunity to nurture my body. This is just a phase guys. Sooner than later I'm going to be back running around town with my beauties.