MY First Trimester Essentials

For me, the first trimester is always the hardest. The extreme fatigue, the unending nausea, and the flux of hormones can really make whats supposed to feel like a beautiful blessing seem more like a nightmare. This isn't my first pregnancy, so I know what to expect and how to adapt. A few tweaks in diet and a gentle approach to rest can do wonders. Cue the essentials...

I like the Rainbow Light Prenatal One Food-Based Multivitamin, because its easy on my stomach. I've tried 2-pill prenatals. I've tried traditional store brand prenatal horse pills. I like this brand the best. They are so gentle on my stomach and they don't leave a weird aftertaste when you burp lol. Maybe that's just a me thing.

Simple Truth Natural Almonds are awesome. Really, it doesn't matter the brand these are just what's available at my grocery store of choice. I use these as a natural remedy for migraines. The magnesium helps tremendously. One or 2 handfuls can knock a migraine out if you eat them at early onset. The medicine I traditionally take for my migraines isn't safe during pregnancy or breastfeeding, but this is a great alternative and its cheaper. 

Diclegis is a medicine that my OB prescribed for morning sickness. These are a lifesaver! Not only do they help with easing the nausea, they also help with sleep issues. And you don't have to take them everyday which is a plus. 

Let's talk about those crazy first trimester mood swings. I have battled depression for the last 15 years. Before I got married and had kids I was able to mask my suffering very well from everyone else except my Mom. What can I say? She knows me like a book.

Now that I'm married, I've had to learn new ways to manage this illness. Some of the ways I manage are through the use of supplements (Vitamins D3 and B12), tons of sun exposure, green smoothies, journaling, and lots of self-care on the weekends. Admittedly, while this may not work for everyone this is what I've decided I'm comfortable with.

Take responsibility for your mental health. If you are suffering get the help you need and if you require medicine please don't feel like you are weak. I come from a very strong Christian background and I'm pretty sure folks mean well when they tell you, "Don't claim that. You just need to trust God and pray." What many don't understand is that Depression is a real ILLNESS. It is a chemical imbalance. It can be measured! It's not just feeling sad about a specific situation. Its the feeling of hopelessness and despair that can make the smallest of tasks seem like a monstrous feat. It can manifest itself in the form of extreme physical pain to the body, the inability to concentrate, the inability to just get out of bed, the inability to fall asleep no matter how exhausted you may be. And what makes it even worse is that if someone were to ask you what you're sad about you'd have absolutely no answer. While I believe wholeheartedly in the power of prayer we would be best in encouraging our loved ones with depression to not only pray, but to seek professional medical attention. Just thought I'd throw that out there. Let it bless you real good! lol

What are some of your first trimester essentials? Let me know in the comment section below!

Slow Down Mommy...Babies Don't Keep

There will always be something that requires my attention...whether its dishes, vacuuming, or just getting dinner on the table. Sometimes I have to be reminded that those tasks will always be there, but my girls won't be babies forever. Inevitably, they will grow up and won't want to sit in my lap quietly. A kiss on the cheek from mommy won't always magically fix everything.

In the midst of the mess, I will sit down and catch yet another episode of Caillou...that little boy is a mess, but I digress lol. Sit down, hold your baby, breathe them in. They won't always be little.

Baby Prep and A Vent Session

I've learned so much from other mom blogs and youtube vloggers. I've learned that the burst of energy you get during the second trimester is the perfect time to get everything squared away for the impending birth. We've gone ahead and stacked the girls bunk beds and assembled the crib. I've cleaned out the girls closets and paired down their playroom significantly. I am so excited about having these things done so early. While I still have quite a few more things to do within the next few weeks I have created a game plan and I am confident that we will execute this to perfection. The car seat is already installed and the breast pump is already sanitized. The girls haven't really caught on that someone is coming or rather Rose doesn't seem to notice any differences, but my ever aware Addi has reached the pinnacle of her clingiest self. She hugs my belly, she refuses to allow her father to hold her hand or pick her up which leaves it to mommy lol. I wish I could say I'm irritated by it, but I'm more than flattered. So what's up next:

• Pair down on the girls clothes and separate all the smaller items into a bin and store at the top of the closet until we know the sex of the baby. We don't intend on finding out the sex so we'll have this bin until June. At least these items will already be sorted, laundered, and folded so if they're going to be used by us they're already ready and if they need to be donated they again are already ready.

• Clear out a cabinet and sanitize a few bottles and pacifiers. We intend to breastfeed again, but at least we'll be prepared just in case.

• Begin purchasing and storing diapers.

• Begin purchasing, laundering, and storing gender neutral onesies and outfits.

• Pull the baby glider and bassinet out of storage. Clean them and set them up.

• Begin scheduling and seeing the pediatrician for the girls, the dentist, the optometrist, and the general practitioner for me and King. And go ahead and let the pediatrician know about the upcoming baby and scheduling an appointment with the lactation consultant at our ped's office. 

Quick Dinners: Navy Bean Soup

Navy Bean Soup

We pretty much have been living off soup since I've been pregnant. I'm not the best cook, but I'm constantly hungry and in need of the best nutrients. This baby's appetite is insatiable!!!!! So, this may actually look like a big pot of nothing, but its navy bean soup. I usually use ham, but we're trying to get away from pork, so I used smoked turkey wings. This turned out so well and it only took about 2 hours to cook. Super quick. Just cut, dump it, and add a bit of hot sauce at the end. Amazeballs! You could even convert this to a slow cooker recipe if that better suits your schedule. Just set the temp to low and cook for about 10 hours. Like Rosie always says, "Yummy! Yummy!"

Ingredients

1/2 lb of smoked turkey wings

1 teaspoon of dried rosemary

1 teaspoon of dried thyme

8 medium carrots skinned and sliced

3 stalks of chopped celery

1 lb of dried navy beans soaked and rinsed
1 large white onion, chopped

8 cups of chicken broth
3 cloves of garlic, minced
optional: hot sauce and sugar to taste

Directions

1. Soak and rinse dry navy beans in water overnight.
2. Add navy beans and the rest of the ingredients to your stockpot.
3. Cover and cook on low for about 2 hours. Stirring occasionally.

I like to add about a teaspoon of sugar and a few heavy-handed shakes of Texas Pete hot sauce to my bowl, but feel free to skip it if that's not your thing. This is how my Great-Granddaddy Cliff liked to make his.

Daddy, Mommy and The Super Twins visit the Virginia Sports Hall of Fame

I am absolutely NOT a sports fan. I completely understand the basics of football, basketball, baseball, and tennis, but they are all snooze fests for me. No matter how much I try to make myself care, if only for the sake of my husband, I just can't do it. I'm slowly embracing this small fact about myself, however I LOOOOOOVVVEEE my King. Like really love him. Its disgusting actually, so sometimes I set aside my personal disinterest because I realize that if I really want to see my "reserved man of few words" light up I have to get him into his element.

Every year the Smithsonian Magazine hosts a Free Museum Day all over the country. All you have to do is print tickets off their website. So one Saturday morning I planned an adventure with him in mind. Enter the Virginia Sports Hall of Fame. Cue the wide smile from my beautiful husband lol.

Daddy told his girls all about Monica Wright, Arthur Ashe, Tiki Barber, and Robert Griffin III. He told them about some of the well-known sports announcers and he rallied off stats like he was a contestant on Jeopardy. 

The girls got into some of the interactive exhibits, but for the most part they didn't quite appreciate Daddy's love for athleticism.

And you know what? That's ok. In time they will. This will be something they share with their Father. They will mention to future boyfriends, "If you want my Daddy to let you take me out you better know something about the Redskins because that's his team." 

They will learn the heart of their Father.

Random Ramblings...SUBMISSION...The Other "S" Word

Submission to your spouse is NOT bad! I repeat SUBMISSION TO YOUR SPOUSE IS NOT BAD! It does NOT make you a doormat. You are protected under God's ordinances when you submit to your spouse because in actuality you are submitting to your God! The WORD states that "when a man finds a wife he finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." If your husband found you that means you were sent to him BY GOD. That means that God already knew what your husband needed help with and he created YOU to be his helpmate. Miss me with that feminist argument that I am equal to my husband! He has responsibilities that I don't EVER want on my shoulders. And IF he mistreats me God's Word reminds me that his prayers are no longer heard. Marriage is a CALLING. It is a ministry. It is not just because I think you're cute. I like the way you smell. I like the house you own. It is none of those things. Marriage is a call to be constantly self-sacrificing. IF you are NOT able to submit or sacrifice your own will to the will of your God STAY AWAY FROM MARRIAGE. Know that if you claim you are a Believer of God and a Follower of Christ,but you decide to go against that order for your marriage, with all the love in my heart I have to tell you, you are out of order. And that is not unrighteous judgment on my part. I love you! I want what's best for you. I am not saying submission is easy and I do it 24/7. No, I struggle too. But let's do this together Sisters! We are one body in Faith. You are my keeper and I am yours. Peace.

Parenting SUCKS!

Okay so I must admit, I dropped the ball today. I decided this morning that I was going to have some bathroom time by myself; Free from little people tugging on me and watching me use the "potty" all while asking me over and over again at the top of their lungs, "What ya doing?"

It was a horrible idea and I've paid dearly for it. No sooner than I closed the bathroom door and left them in the living room to play, my dear Addi took her diaper off and pooped in the middle of my living room floor. 

I am upset. Unjustly I am upset with her. Rightfully so, I am upset with myself. I'm upset that children don't come automatically potty-trained like cats with the litter box. This is my fault. 

Don't get me wrong I absolutely enjoy being Mommy. There's not a moment I ever wish I could go back to not having children. They are my constant reminders of God's love for me and I have the most fun with them. Simply put, I was MADE to be a mommy. Outside of being a believer of God and a submitting wife, absolutely nothing brings me as much fulfillment as being their mom.  However, there are times where I wish I could just pause the tough moments and revisit them another day. I wish I could revisit my old life just so I could appreciate it a little more.

 I wish I could remember what it feels like to have a deep sleep without hearing a toddler reposition 3 rooms away. I wish I had appreciated having a constantly tidy home. I wish I could listen to ridiculous music without having to consider the lyrical content. Its the little things that we take for granted and that I miss so much. But that is not my season anymore. There will come a time where my children won't need so much from me and you know what? I'm going to miss it. As much as this time sucks sometimes...I'm going to miss it. 

There will come a time where I'm going to take off the diapers put them in panties and never revisit diapers again. I will sing "The Silly Song" one day for the last time and I won't know its the last time. I'm going to put my babies down and never pick them back up again and I won't know it was the last time.

These are seasons. They are short. Fleeting. Beautiful. Painful. 

They must be cherished. Even when they literally stink.

  As I scrubbed her little body, her hair, and my living room carpet, not only did I say some unmentionable words, I heard over and over in my head that "children are an inheritance from the LORD." I will cling to that. 

I will hold to that. And I will hold to pettiness. So when I'm old and out of it I hope for a brief moment of clarity. I hope I will remember this moment and repeat it just for her lol.

Here's looking at you Kiddo ;)

I Am Only A Vessel

My way isn't always the right way. I have to remember to get out of their  way and allow them to be who they are. In a world that's gonna constantly try to change them or tell them they're less than, I can't afford to dim their light. I can only encourage them. I can't nitpick them to perfection. I can't live their life for them. I can't cry their tears for them. I can't fight every battle for them, but please believe I want to. All I can do is give them the tools, but they have to choose to use them in the way that they see fit.

A Slow Death...

I seem to have a flair for the dramatics. It's ok though. He accepts me flaws and all lol.

The Super Twins Adore Daddy

Looks like someone is missing their Daddy. Rosie keeps bringing me this photo while screaming, "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" Never mind that I'm in the picture too smh. It's all about Daddy. I'm jealous of Daddy. Can I just be Daddy for 5 minutes? He has all the juice.

I joke, but I am just so overjoyed that my girls have this kind of relationship with their Father. As excited as they are to see him when he gets home it doesn't even compare to the way he lights up when he sees his girls. I'm very grateful. Many don't have the same story.

Black Owned Business Spotlight: Mango Mangeaux...Are You Ready For This Jelly?

I had the opportunity to visit a wonderful black owned restaurant in downtown Hampton a couple weeks ago and boy, I was blown away. If you're familiar with the ABC hit show "Shark Tank" you may have heard of Simply Panache, an event and planning group started by Nzinga Teule-Hekima, Lakesha Brown-Renfro, and Tanecia Willis. The "Mango Ladies" as they are affectionately called by their customers used to cater events, but they've since evolved their business into a gourmet mango preserves manufacturing center. 

While they weren't able to secure investors from Shark Tank they didn't let that stop them. Not only have they started Simply Panache Nail Bar and Pedi Spa located at 23 South Mallory Street Hampton, VA 23666, they've opened Mango Mangeaux: A Simply Panache Bistro located at 33 East Mellen Street Hampton, VA 23666. 

I ordered the "Choose Hampton" a delicious and very meaty crabcake sandwich with a mixed green salad. It was absolutely amazing. A lot of the time when I order a crabcake from restaurants they give you so much breading and you barely get any crab...you know...the thing you ACTUALLY wanted lol, but not at Mango Mangeaux. It was hot, fresh, extra meaty...just all-around delicious. They gave me so much I had to box up half of my sandwich to take home. 

I also love the decor of the restaurant. The orange and gray are so vibrant and I love the use of their signature mango preserves containers as floral vases. It is a quaint restaurant, but that makes conversation extra intimate and the atmosphere very cozy. The service was also impeccable. So far, I've only had the lunch menu, but they offer breakfast and dinner and I can't wait to try them both!

Choose Hampton $13

Pasta Mangeaux with Garlic French Bread $15

April Showers Bring May Flowers: Nanny Rose in Memorium

I remember when I found out I was pregnant with the girls I lifted my phone to call my Nana and then I remembered she would never pick up her earthly phone again. It was like being stabbed in the gut. I've never screamed like I screamed in that moment. It was like it had just happened. 

When she died I didn't cry. I held her hand. I kissed her and I said goodbye as she was taken off of life support. I never cried because I wasn't raised to see death as this horrible thing. I view death as the freeing of our spirits from the limitations of a physical body. Anywho, I've had so much happen in my life in the years since her death and I just needed to share it with my Nana. So I decided to write her. I know she will never read the words, but I still needed to write them. We will do this every year. I will write because it helps me grieve her. It helps me feel like I'm still connected to her and I feel like it will connect my girls to her.

My Grandmother Rose died in January 2009. Her birth month was February, but its still dreary outside in February. I didn't think a dreary day matched the Spirit of such a beautiful soul, so we waited until May. April Showers bring May flowers...and my favorite flower is Rose. It always will be.

"A good name is better than fine perfume, and the day of death better than the day of birth. It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone; the living should take this to heart." Ecclesiastes 7:1-2 (NIV)