What Is Meant for Me is For Me...

"And know that if the whole of the nation were to rally together in order to bring benefit to you in anything, they would not benefit you except with that which God has written for you. And if they were to gather together in order to inflict harm upon you with something, they would not harm you except with that which God has written upon you. The pens have been raised and the pages have dried."

When we found out we were expecting our 3rd child we were extremely anxious. We wondered if we could handle another little person with so many needs. I feared another battle with postpartum depression. I wondered if I even had the capacity to love someone else as much as I've grown to love the Super Twins. And I guess we were nervous that we would have multiples again. As much as the girls have been a great blessing to us I didn't think I could mentally or physically handle carrying multiples for a second time. I was adamant "I am NOT carrying more than one child." But if you know me, you know that I talk to God a lot! I know sometimes He has to feel like "If this girl calls me one more time..." I'm a worrisome child. I'll own that.

I want to share a peek into my conversation with God. Maybe it will be helpful to you in your own tough situations when you don't believe you have what it takes to do the work He's willed for you...


So many times when I am put in a difficult and uncomfortable situation I feel alone. In pregnancy I am the one who has to get sick, I'm the one whose body changes, and I, alone, am the one who has to experience the pains of birth...I am alone. As much as I love my King and as much as I know he loves me, he can't help me with this one. 

I struggle with having enough energy on a regular basis to keep up with the Super Twins. I struggle with keeping my depression and anxiety in check. How will I possibly keep up with another addition? How will my mental health fair in all of these changes? 

We are not rich and my husband works very hard. With a 3rd child and with what I believe outsiders will think of me; I feel like I'm adding a burden to him. Even though he doesn't see working for his family as a burden, outsiders can say some pretty nasty things, and while he can take that criticism, I often shrink.

I am a master planner, but my plans don't always line up with reality. I'm not able to see that a detour doesn't take away from the final destination. When my plans don't go my way I falter. I feel so alone.

"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you." (Jeremiah 29:11-14)


My body is finally starting to feel like it did before I got pregnant with the girls. The pain in my neck and back is starting to dissipate. I can't imagine my skin stretching again and I can't imagine having the strength to carry such a heavy load. 

Where will this child go? We live in a 2 bedroom and I drive a hatchback. 

"A man's gift makes room for him and brings him before great men." (Proverbs 18:16)

The Super Twins are like 10 children in one and King works a lot. I would practically be doing this alone. I just don't think I am made to carry and take care of anymore children. I know this is what he wants, but this is not what I want right now. I can't do this.

"If I say," Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." (Psalm 139: 12-14)

"By myself I can do nothing..." (John 5:30)

"In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for special purposes and some for common use. Those who cleanse themselves from the latter will be instruments for special purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work." (2 Timothy 2:20-21)

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you ; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; Do not be discouraged." (Deuteronomy 31:8)

"Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward."(Psalm 127:3) 

With that last Scripture I was put at ease. Children are always gifts. This society would have us to view them as just another mouth to feed; a burden, but that's not how God sees them. Oh if only we could see with HIS eyes the way in which He sees US!

How silly I must have looked telling my Creator what I could and could not handle. He quickly gathered me and I am immensely grateful that He loves me enough to bring me guidance. Not only am I sure that I can do this, I want to. 

When The Most High gives you something who are you to give it back? Who are you to question His gifts? Who are you to question His plans? I am the created. I trust full well that what He has for me is always for me and anything that escapes me was never meant for me.

Be encouraged.

We're Expecting Baby #3

Baby Trois will make His or Her Debut

June 2016!!!!

The Super Twins Strike Again

Don't let the big beautiful eyes and innocent-looking smile fool you. This is a monster! So I guess this would be day #3 of them being in toddler beds. Well, this morning I get up to greet them the way I do every morning but this morning they have gotten into their drawers, strewn books around the room, and decided to just be tyrants. After picking up the mess, I turn my back to walk out of the room to get Mr. Feel Good and this little monster closes the door and locks me out. 

I hope you can picture this smh, but after I unscrewed one side of the door knob, her side of the door knob loosened. She grabbed it and I fussed at her about locking me out, so she tried to put her side of the doorknob back in the door. Oh I was hot! After I finally got into her room I gave up on Mr. Feel Good. She won this round lol.I swear this is my mini-me. She's driving me bonkers lol. 

Self Care is a Divine Responsibility

I'm quite sure as a mom it is easy to give so much of yourself to your babies, your spouse, your job, your faith, etc. without taking some time out for yourself, but I would advise all of my friends to TAKE the time. 

Look your hubby in the eye and say, "Babe, you take the kids I need a minute." Go treat yourself to lunch at an actual restaurant. Go to the bookstore, grab a book, find a corner, and just relax. Don't think about the babies or your other responsibilities. They'll still be there waiting for you when you get back.

It's important to take the time and fall in love with yourself; completely separate from the roles you play in the lives of others. You have to remember who you were before you wore all these hats. Yes, I am my King's wife and the mom of the Super Twins, BUT I am Paris FIRST. I am quirky. I love history. I love The Read Podcast because it is laden with curse words...DON'T judge me...a few F bombs never killed anyone. I love Beyonce, but Jay-Z is who I really Stan for (I chose my girls birthday and I'm proud of December 4th lol) and yes, I AM a card carrying member of the Beyhive! I get just as much enjoyment listening to Bach as I do Erykah Badu and I duly analyze them both. I like conspiracy theories. I like anthropology. I like watching the Golden Girls. In my mind Bea Arthur was my grandma all the way, but when Betty White dies I'm GOING TO CRY HYSTERICALLY! I realize I've ventured off...let me sum it up...

I cling to my individuality like a life vest! 

Once a week, I take myself to a movie. I take myself out to lunch. Sometimes I just run a hot bubble bath after I put the girls to bed and I just listen to all the ratchet music I used to listen to before I bagged their father lol. Whatever it takes. Just renew yourself. You can't give to others without filling your own cup.

2016 Book List So Far

Its important for my girls to read lots of books, but its just as important for them to see me lost in a book as well. I love books. I like the way the pages feel on my fingers and yes, I admit I am a "book sniffer." I don't care what you say lol. Its my thing.

Reading allows me to get lost in another dimension. Another world. It allows me to learn about the past and create my own future. It also gives me something to talk about with my husband besides the kids and housework lol.

"Anywho", for the beginning months of the year I've decided to revisit some old classics that I read in college. I love reading and I love African-American History. I'm spending this year boning up on my African American and Nigerian (my ancestors were of Yoruba and Igbo descent) history so that I can incorporate what I've learned into some arts and crafts projects for the girls next year. These are the books I'm starting with. Allez viens!!! Come along with me.

Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass by Frederick Douglass

My Bondage and My Freedom by Frederick Douglass

Up From Slavery by Booker T. Washington

Character Building by Booker T. Washington

The Church of the Cosmic Mother: Metaphysics for the African American Seeker by Deborah Turner-Bey

The Souls of Black Folk by W. E. B Du Bois

Go Tell It on the Mountain by James Baldwin

Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

#DontWasteYOURTime2016

My tolerance level for BS is very low. If it doesn't feel right...kick them to the curb. If they don't respect you...kick them to the curb. If you feel used...kick them to the curb. My mother always taught me that when a man doesn't want you there's nothing you can do to make him stay. There's nothing you can do to convince him otherwise. But when a man loves you and wants you there's equally nothing you can do to make him leave. When a man loves...my God, ladies it is powerful! It is unparalleled. It is overwhelming! There is no mistaking his devotion. You won't have to question it and it feels SO good. This is not just a sexual attraction. When a man loves you he cares about your soul. He will intercede on your behalf. He will study you. He will listen to you. He will want for you what you can't even imagine for yourself. He will sacrifice for you. He will cleanse you and present you to himself, holy and unblemished. He will see all of your dark places and he will do his best to illuminate them. He will love you when you can't love yourself. See how that sounds? Imagine how that feels!!!! See why God commanded woman to respect her husband but commanded that man LOVE his bride? You can't match that! lol

Choose better for yourself ladies! If he doesn't speak to the Queen in you and you CAN'T speak to the King in him then my God, leave him be. He isn't made for you. He's not the One. And that's OK! It is better to determine that he isn't the one based off of his actions than to wait for him to tell you with his words. It won't feel so good when you wait on the words (believe me I know), but if he isn't a man of integrity you will never hear the words. He will never say them to you. It's ok for YOU to cut the ties. Don't get hung up on this crap about closure. Its unnecessary here.

Guard your heart ladies!

Proverbs 4:23

Grocery Shopping with the Super Twins...How I Do It

1. Go early in the morning or extremely late at night. Because I have twins people usually stop me over and over  while I'm trying to get through my shopping. Because everything is about perfect timing with my little girls I really need to get through my trips quickly. I choose to go to the grocery store at times where most people aren't going to shop. I go early at the exact time of opening or late at night an hour before closing (At night I am not alone and believe me, you don't want to run up on King lol). When they were younger this was a bigger hassle. As they've gotten older, I've noticed that if I dress them the same I will never finish shopping. So I usually DON'T. lol People really are intrigued by twins for some strange reason. My fraternal twins are no more alike than you and your sibling.

2. Get Help! When I need to do a huge grocery haul I enlist the help of my husband or my mother in love. My husband doesn't look that friendly so people don't stop him to ask him questions about his girls lol. And my Mother-In-Love is the friendliest and most patient person you will ever meet. I have them push the girls either in their stroller or in a basket while I shop completely uninterrupted.

3. Create a grocery list and list it in order of where you'll find these items in the store. I LOVE the grocery store. I know where everything is. My list is in order...I don't waste time looking for anything.

4. I make sure my girls are fed, dry, and well-rested beforehand. Most meltdowns have something to do with not being prepared or not paying attention to the needs of your Little Bosses. I worked in healthcare. I always needed to anticipate my patients' needs so that I never felt rushed. This is no different. 

5. I let them touch the veggies after I've picked them. Sounds simple. Sounds like it wouldn't make a difference, but it does. I don't have babies anymore. They are aware of their surroundings. I include them. We literally have a conversation about what I'm shopping for, what I'm gonna cook with it, and why I've picked that particular produce item..."Green peppers with 3 bumps are males and are better for eating raw while peppers with 4 bumps are like mommy, firmer and better for cooking" lol.

Welcome to 2016!

Hello, and welcome to the New Year! I have gotten so behind in posting to my blog. For a short while I'd lost the desire to even post, but I've renewed my spirit, brainstormed some ideas, and created some goals for not only the new year but also this Mommy and the Super Twins space. I can't wait to fill you all in on what's been going on with us. Check back soon because I'm BACK! As always Peace be with you all. :)