4th trimester (newborn phase)

• An Infant Carrier: The Baby K'taan has helped tremendously in allowing me to keep up with the twins, cook dinner, wash dishes, and keep my infant close to me whenever we are out of the house. You'd be surprised how a newborn can make complete strangers forget all about personal space/boundaries. The carrier allows me to move freely while keeping my baby close. It also allows her to adjust to OUR daily routine. She is also able to smell me, nurse, and hear my heartbeat. She almost NEVER cries. I know some old school parents may say holding a baby all day spoils the baby. That is completely false. You can not spoil a newborn. My baby is adjusting to a new world and she needs my help. For 9 months she's smelled me, been nourished by me, heard all the sounds my body makes...she only knows ME. I am her guide to this strange new world and I just have to be patient. She will catch on eventually. Infant carrying also helps with postpartum anxiety and depression. A crying/screaming baby completely overwhelms me. Baby-wearing helps baby and me feel secure.

• Journaling helps me to categorize and sort through my thoughts. I'm able to problem solve quicker. It's also easier for me to notice patterns in my behavior, so I can adjust. It's calming. It allows my mind to stop racing. 

• Breastfeeding. Any amount of breast milk I can give to my baby is so worth it. It's economical, it's healthy, it's always sanitary, and I can sleep while nursing in the middle of the night. Since I can do it, I do it. If it proves to be too much for me I'll stop. A fed baby is most important.

• Recovery: I made sure to sleep during the 6-8 week recovery period. I napped every time my husband was able to supervise the Super Twins. I relaxed my standards on chores and it made for an easier transition to being a mom of 3. I really soaked up those early moments. Since I breastfed on cue, Ryian napped more during the day and spent a lot of the evening and overnight nursing. It's imperative not to sleep through any of the nighttime feedings because that's when milk supply increases. Growth spurts and cluster feedings are real and the only way to keep up with the demand is to nurse on demand.

• Light walking: Just like during pregnancy, light exercise is beneficial. It serves as a mood stabilizer and it's a decent form of exercise.The great thing about walking is I was able to begin this almost immediately. 

• Coconut oil can be used to prevent stretch marks and as a natural alternative to traditional lanolin nipple cream. Coconut oil has antibacterial properties, so it's really good at healing those cracked nipples in the first few weeks.

• Bedtime/Nighttime routine: During the newborn phase I don't force a schedule, however, just doing the same things every night before bedtime helped Ryian learn the difference between day time and night time. A lavender scented warm bath, a light massage with coconut oil, fresh diaper, warm pajamas, a nursing session and low lights works like a charm.

• Loose neck tops are the best for nursing. I layer a nursing tank under a loose neck top so I can nurse without having to keep up with a nursing cover. 

• If you're new to breastfeeding or if you're bottle-feeding after a cesarean a breastfeeding pillow works great. I used the pillow for a short time until I got my bearings with different positions. It's also really good to keep the baby off the sensitive scar area. 

• Prenatal vitamins don't stop after baby is born. The vitamins help me to keep some energy. When I forget to take them I can tell the difference. I'm sluggish, Ryian doesn't get full, and I don't have as many letdowns as I should. The same is true for water and rest. When I don't get enough of those two things I am a sight for sore eyes.

In the comments let me know some of your essentials for that critical 4th trimester.

Introducing Little Miss Ryian Paris...

The night before you were born I started having contractions...I didn't think too much about it because even though I'd lost my mucous plug a few days prior I've never experienced labor symptoms. I didn't get much sleep that night. The morning of your birth Rosie woke up at the butt crack of dawn and demanded to watch little Einstein's. I obliged. I cut it on and continued to agonize. She paid me no mind lol. I continued to have contractions. They continued to get stronger and regular. I took a shower hoping the hot water would soothe me, but the contractions, of course got even more painful. I called your Granny. She knew I was different. She came running. Your Daddy on the other hand...he's so stinking cool about everything. Nothing can make him change the pace of his walk or the calm in his voice. He took his sweet old time driving home from work.

We headed to the hospital. I didn't progress but labor was imminent. I ended up having  you via repeat cesarean. I was awake for your birth...that was the only request I made. I didn't get to hear your sisters and that has stuck with me everyday of their lives.

I was so nervous to get the spinal, but your Daddy calmed me down with just the sound of his voice singing the lyrics to Stevie Wonder's "As" in my ear. "As now can't reveal the mystery of tomorrow, but in passing we'll grow older everyday. Just as all that's born is new, do know all I say is true, that I'll be loving you always." You'll come to learn that this is my song for your father. When they told me they were going to use general anesthesia when I gave birth to your sisters I had my nurse go to your father and tell him "Until the day that you are me and I am you." I tell him that whenever I'm overwhelmed or scared or just when I'm overcome with the wave of love. I love HARD and that's how I promise to love you.

They lifted you up over the sheet so I could see you, but I'd taken my contacts out before we'd gone inside. I'm blind as a bat without those things. When am I going to learn? Ever the jokester, I asked your Daddy, "Is she an uggmug?" To which he replied, "Absolutely not. She's gorgeous."

I had a postpartum hemorrhage. I blacked out. My blood pressure dropped into the 40s. You brought all the excitement Little One, but I wouldn't change a thing about the day. You are amazing! You are so loved! We can't wait to watch you grow up!

The Pits...Natural Alternatives to Conventional Deodorant

I started looking for natural alternatives to the conventional deodorants and antiperspirants because I knew I was going to be exclusively breastfeeding my little one and I felt a little weird about putting known carcinogens (aluminum, parabens, and triclosan) so close to her. In the western world, we've been conditioned to think of sweat as an enemy; as something unhygienic, but that couldn't be further from the truth. These known carcinogens are the ingredients in deodorant that stop us from perspiring. I know, I know sweat is yucky, but that's only because in the Western World we've been conditioned to think of sweat that way. In actuality, sweat is our body's natural coolant and toxin removal system. There are some toxins in the body that can only leave the body through sweat. Now let's think about that. There are thousands of known toxins in our bodies every single day and by using antiperspirants we are keeping those nasty toxins INSIDE OUR BODIES! THAT'S what's gross! I noticed that when I would shower I would scrub and scrub and scrub, but I couldn't get the old deodorant from under my arms. That's problematic in itself, so the hunt for an aluminum-free deodorant began.

 Tom's of Maine deodorant in the wild lavender scent was the first deodorant I tried out. I started this process in the summer months in the United States' South. That proved to be a complete bust! I sweat tremendously and I stunk so bad. I knew I could get used to the amount of sweat (hey, it's normal), but I couldn't deal with that stench. I figured if so many people were able to rave about this deodorant it must be something I'm doing wrong.  This led me to Google for a way to exfoliate my armpits. I ended up finding a detox recipe from www.wellnessmama.com using Aztec clay and apple cider vinegar.  The science behind this is that if you've been using an aluminum-filled deodorant for any amount of time, you've clogged your pores with this "metal." You need to first detox your armpits and then try the natural deodorant. This clay somehow pulls the metals from your body. You can actually feel the tightening as you use this mask. It's really cool.

Armpit Detox Recipe

2 Tablespoons of Aztec Indian Healing Clay

2 Tablespoons Bragg's Organic Apple Cider Vinegar

Enough water to form a paste

No metal utensils or bowls

Apply paste to underarms and relax for 5-20 minutes maximum.

Ok, so I detoxed my armpits every night for a month and then revisited the Tom's deodorant. Nope, still a bust. I almost gave up and just started using the conventional deodorant again, but when I would nurse my baby I just couldn't bring myself to do her like that. 

I went to my local Whole Foods Market and grabbed the Nubian Heritage Honey and Black Seed 24 Hour All Natural Deodorant. I really wanted this product to work because I spent almost $9 on it and because it's a black-owned company and that's really important to me. Alas, this product failed me as well. It smells amazing and maybe for the person who doesn't have sensitive skin this product might work great, but it burned like all hell. I haven't been able to pinpoint which ingredient caused me the discomfort, but I ditched this product. It also had this weird sticky feeling upon application. So uncomfortable!

Just kind of fiddling around in the body care aisle at Whole Foods I stumbled across this Magnesium Oil Spray. If you've read my blog for any amount of time you've heard me rave about the benefits of magnesium sulfate (aka Epsom salt) as a mood stabilizer. If you can't poop take an epsom salt bath. If you're sore take an epsom salt bath. If you're moody on your period take an epsom salt bath. I think you get my point. If you're ailing more than likely you just need to increase the magnesium in your body. Most of us are suffering from a magnesium deficiency and we don't even know it. But anywho, back on subject. I was reading the label and it mentioned how you could use it as a deodorant. How cool is that? I went home, showered and squirted in under my pits all willy nilly and it stung like fire. But that's completely normal! The first few times you use it you will sting, but that's only if you have a magnesium deficiency. After a few uses you won't sting anymore, but if the stinging bothers you too much just rub it in and then apply some coconut oil. You know how if you go to the beach and get in the ocean when you leave you'll feel this gritty feeling on your skin? That's exactly how your pits will feel, but thats ok. You're killing two birds with one stone. You're increasing your magnesium intake which will get rid of headaches, body aches, and insomnia while moisture-wicking! I've only been using it for about a week, but I'll never go back to a different deodorant ever.

If any of these products worked for you tell me in the comments. I don't have all the answers. I'm still learning just like you. Let's grow together :)